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It's not the article itself that has irritated me so much, even though I do think it is the journalistic equivalent of candyfloss; rather than the many comments written in response. Virtually every one seems to condemn the wedding industry for being money grabbing and exploitative. Judging by the response, the article has really struck a nerve with readers, who now seem only too happy to let loose a stream of vitriol against the whole business and, in some cases the institution of marriage itself. Its all VERY one sided and there is obviously an appalling lack of knowledge about what we do, so why is this?
For a bride and groom the whole business of getting married is an absolute minefield. You hope that you're only going to do it once, you're completely out of your comfort zone and you don't know where to start. I'm having my civil partnership next year: we're only having 25 guests and I'm marrying a wedding planner and it's still stressful!! I cannot imagine having a do with 150 guests, I don't KNOW 150 people and, being the centre of that much attention would have me heading for the hills. But, whether you have a "fairy tale" wedding in a castle for 200 or lunch for 20 in a pub it can still be a miserable experience. I've been to a very lavish wedding which was badly thought through (a standing reception for 300 with no chance of being able to sit down is no fun) and an intimate lunch for 6, where the happy couple decided to skip dessert in order to catch their honeymoon flight! Whatever you do to celebrate your wedding, your wedding is what you make it. Spending £1000 or £100,000 is entirely a matter of choice, doesn't guarantee success and, being blamed for being extravagant is hardly something new. In fact it actually smacks of jealousy more than anything else. Why is spending several thousand pounds on a wedding dress such a bad thing? I'd spend that much on a bespoke suit if I could!
In reality, we should be celebrating an industry which is worth more than £5 billion a year to the UK economy, provides employment for thousands of people and, unusually is supported mostly by small businesses. Unfortunately for those small businesses, there seems to be a shocking lack of support from within the industry itself. An industry which seems to be more concerned with promoting it's high paying advertisers than the little people who are the back-bone of the wedding world. We have found out the hard way that, trying to promote your business to the people that matter and being met with a "who are you"? attitude can make you want to give up. Unless you've the capital to promote yourself as the next big thing, no one wants to know. It takes hard slog to survive in weddings and, if that isn't bad enough, a recent comment by the editor of a wedding magazine who said that, as soon as venues and suppliers hear the word wedding, they add a nought to the quote, is like a slap in the face. Of all the accusations laid against us, this is the one which angers me more than any other.
Sometimes we feel that trying to make the general public understand that what we do has a commercial value, is like wading through treacle! How do you make someone understand that your work IS worth what you charge? The term "rip-off merchants" seems to be a very popular term when referring to the wedding business. Those reputable suppliers in the business should perhaps come up with a term to describe the "bridezillas" who sometimes make our jobs so difficult. The ones who give you a budget and then slash it by two thirds. The ones that demand a full design brief with their quote and, who then tell you that a friend of the family is going to do the flowers, based on our ideas and our quote. The ones who want to pay cash because they don't want to pay the VAT! The ones who think that just because you have a mobile, they can call you at ll o'clock at night!
Reading so many negative comments in response to Deborah Joseph's article saddened me deeply. However, we know that we always do the very best for our clients and always will. Let me leave you with this, from the parents of a recent bride.
"I don't think that your incredible design for my daughter's wedding has quite sunk in - even now. You did a fabulous job at translating their ideas and wishes into a reality which was absolutely stunning. We cannot thank you enough for making such a terrific contribution to an unforgettable event".